Making my bed, taking a shower, (a must!), going for a walk or just going out, buying something for just me, (it could be very small for $1), and reaching out to friends, (companionship) – these are my happiness things for everyday living.
Reaching out to friends is huge for me, because I can’t stay isolated. The more I stay isolated, the more the “stinkin’ thinkin'” starts in my head. I need to connect to someone, listen to their problems, or just vent to them about what I am going through. I am fortunate enough to have my best friend, who I talk to every single night at the same time – we watch movies, shows and just talk and catch up about each other’s day. I also have been blessed with another good friend who is studying to be a therapist, so he has the best advice at how to handle things.
Going out for a walk or at least going out every day is also really important. It has become even more important since I have been dealing with my heartbreak, so I am not home pining for him. However, I stayed home today, and even though I wasn’t completely miserable, I was still checking my phone every 5 minutes for an email that doesn’t seem to come. Me and my ex have gotten closer over the past week or so – we’ve had sex 4 times, and at first, I had felt used by it, but after the other night, I have to realize that there is a bigger picture at work here. My ex has a lot he needs to do and accomplish; he is desperately trying to make a life for himself, and I am giving him the opportunity to work on himself and do just that. I can’t help that I am madly in love with him though, and he can’t resist the comfort of being with me. All I know is I am NO position to bring another man into this situation – he will get his heart broken, because I am still totally hung up on my ex. That’s why getting out every day has been critical to me keeping my sanity and not obsessing – these four walls close in really tight when you’re dealing with heartache.
Making my bed and taking a shower are two very essential things that bring me happiness. I think making my bed every day is a huge accomplishment – it makes me feel like I am ready for the day, and productive. Taking a shower is also another one like that – people don’t realize how important it is to take care of yourself and feel refreshed. I know in my depression; I used to skip days, and I would feel even worse about myself.
The final thing is buying something for myself, (even if it costs $1). I think that’s very important. I used to treat myself to a meal every day, but that got pricey, but if I get something small, maybe like a candy, just something to make me feel good that wasn’t a complete necessity, I will feel really good for the rest of the day.
I need to do these things every day to bring myself happiness, because I know I will drown in depression if I don’t. This thing with my ex is so difficult. He gives in to me some days, and then I don’t hear from him on others. I know this is what we both have to do – my path is leading me to God – the work I have to do is deeply involved in my community and my church, and by my ex doing this and taking care of his own life, I am able to focus on the things I need to do in mine. There are so many obstacles in both of our paths right now, but the two nights of passion I spent with him over the past two weeks proves how much we both still love and need each other. I can’t help being so in love with him, and he can’t help that his life needs fixing.
If I have to sacrifice being in love, then at least I can make myself feel happy every day.
Stay Tuned.
An Inspired Odyssey Through✨️Ink & Stardust✨️ 