Month: August 2019

Dedicated to one of the most wonderful men of this century – He was Taken Too Soon

On By inspiredodysseyIn Uncategorized3 Comments

terri and steve

Who am I talking about? Well, you may have heard of him, his name is Steve Irwin. I actually had a crush on Steve for a long time, but then again, I’ve always loved Australian men. No one in the world had his kind of energy and his kind of passion for nature and animals.

We need to remember that we share our Earth with others. Our brain capacity is at a higher level, but the others God created to live with us have deep feelings and emotions the way we do. What Steve did, and who he was, had everything to do with this deep love and passion for all our many neighbors of this planet.

The best thing I loved about Steve, though, was his energy. I could see myself laughing for hours on end while I tasted my first Australian beer. I cried the day Steve died, more than I ever did for any celebrity that has passed away. In fact, the only other stars I have ever cried for was Aaliyah, Robin Williams, Whitney Houston and Carrie Fisher. But Steve, hit me on a deep level because just like Steve, my connection to the Earth is very strong, and when he died, I felt the Earth cry for him.

When I went to a church today to thank God for all the amazing things happening in my life right now, I saw a beautiful bird on the top of the statue of Mary in the courtyard. He looked around a bit, and when I said hello to him, he flew away, acknowledging that I was there. Steve had that same kind of relationship with these animals.

I thought of Steve today, and even though I only wanted to go on one trip next year, I am going to make it a point to go to Australia, meet Steve’s family and do all I can to support their fantastic zoo.

That stingray took Steve to a better place. We miss him dearly, but just know, he is looking after us, and his animals, from a beautiful home in heaven.

I love you, Steve, I’ll see you again soon.

Stay tuned.

To All My Friends, (And Even Those Who May Not Like Me Too Much Right Now)

On By inspiredodysseyIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

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I want you to understand something. If ever, in your life, you feel that you have a “voice,” something in your mind that tells you bad things or thoughts, always remember that same “voice” can be silenced very quickly. If you are in a situation where your “voice” tells you that you’re a fuck-up, you’re horrible,  you’re fat, ugly, whatever, address this voice. Write it down, or just say it out loud.

It is no mystery that demonology and psychology are two sides of the same coin. It was known in history that people who had “demons” haunting them, in which they would need to be “exorcised,” it was because their mental health issues weren’t being addressed. Now today, we can turn around and say these things aren’t, in fact, real, but in reality, to the person who is experiencing them, they are very real.

Soldiers that go to war see the worst in the world, and the worst of humanity and the “demons” that these doctors claim aren’t real, are very real to these men and women in uniform too.

I want you to remember when people say that you can’t control your own destiny, know that you absolutely can. For purposes of my new profession, I will not describe my own experiences in detail, but coming from the darkness that I came from, I absolutely overcame my situation because I simply said, “I will no longer play the victim.” It is too easy to take a mental health diagnosis such as depression, bipolar, or anxiety and say to yourself, “well I have X,Y and Z now, so I can’t do anything, so I will just live off the government and be in the mental health system for the rest of my life.” Your mental health diagnosis has nothing to do with your ability to try, to achieve, to do things that you never thought possible in your wildest dreams. Letting the diagnosis define you makes you just want to give up and not even try.

To those who hate me, well, go on and hate me. Maybe one day we can all have lunch and have a laugh about the whole thing.

2040, might be the year for a new brown woman president.

Just saying.

Stay tuned.

The “No-Internet Challenge,” What I Did For a Weekend Without The Internet

On By inspiredodysseyIn Life, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Batman Draw

So I did it! And what a weekend it was! I can honestly say, it was the best weekend of my life, and the best one I’ve had in a really long time. This meant no phone apps, no streaming, and an absolute zero online presence. The computers and laptops were off, and I watched a lot of TV and listened to the radio, (today is National Radio Day, by the way). I did a lot of the things we tend to neglect, like going to a class to reduce your car insurance, drawing, and coloring and reading a book you have been carrying around for a very long time.

I read a book called “The Prophet” by Kahlil Gibran, on Sunday, that I have been carrying around with me for about 20 years and I never read. An ex-boyfriend of mine gave it to me and said it would change my life, and it absolutely did.

There was one thing in particular that stood out to me of what I read; it was a passage about houses:

Your house is your larger body, what do you have in these houses? And what is it you guard with fastened doors? Have you peace, remembrances, and beauty in your houses? Or have you only comfort, the stealthy thing that enters the house as a guest, and then becomes a host, and then your master? Ay, then soon it becomes a tamer with a hook and scourge which makes puppets out of your desires. Verily the lust for comfort murders the passion of the soul, and then walks away grinning at the funeral. You shall be free when your days are without a care nor your nights without a want and grief – and when they girdle your life, you will find freedom when you rise above them naked and unbound.

To me, that encapsulates what the internet as a whole has done to us, and what we must free ourselves from. I have never been more free in my life, and when I wake up now, I feel nothing but joy in my heart. Through all the pain and sorrow of my younger days, I am approaching 40 without alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, gaming, Netflix, my cell phone and everything else most of the world are slaves to. This is a new era, a new day, and tomorrow will be an even better one.

And in regards to friendships, Mr. Gibran shared this:

Let your best, be for your friend. For what is your friend that you seek with hours to kill? Seek them always with hours to live. For it is theirs to fill your need, not your emptiness. For the dew of the little things that the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.

Try it for yourself. Do all your work, write all your emails, put an away message on your phone, and plan to take a “vacation” from the internet. Maybe go hang out with friends, see a movie, or just do what I did and stay at home with your TV and with yourself. I can’t tell you how alive I feel after those three days.

Oh and one more thing: even though I am writing this in this blog, Mr. Gibran shared this with me, to remind me to always stay humble:

A good deed that calls itself tender names becomes the parent to a curse.

I shall remember that, Mr. Gibran.

Stay tuned.

 

The No-Internet Challenge – Do You Think You Can Live Without The Internet?

On By inspiredodysseyIn LifeLeave a comment

NoInternetHero

So can you? I mean no streaming, no phone apps, no email, no YouTube, no social media, NOTHING??? I dare you to try it! I am going on an Internet strike from Friday to Monday to see how life would be without the internet. I was talking to a friend today about all the problems in the world, and I wondered if God asked me right now if I could fix everything that is screwed up about this planet what it would it be?

TAKE AWAY THE INTERNET.

Simple. Straight to the point. Just kill the whole system, lock everything down, and the only way anyone in the world could use the internet is for work purposes ONLY. It would a tool, just like a car, or a screwdriver – when you need it to get something done you use it, then you turn it the HELL OFF. It was a radical idea, a random thought that just stuck in my head. All these terrorist groups, the Dark Web that steals all your money and identity, Bitcoin and their bullshit digital currency that has you spending all your hard-earned money on virtual air, Facebook stealing everything about you, Google tracking you and sharing everything – ALL OF IT- JUST DONE AND GONE –

I grew up in a time before the internet, so I know what life was like before it. We got around, we did what we had to do, we called each other on the phone, we hung out together, yadda yadda yadda – people are always talking about a “simpler time” but what does that mean exactly? When people say, “I wish it were like the old days,” what are they referring to? LIFE WITHOUT THE INTERNET, that’s what.

I mean, look I’ll give ya some freebies. In this “newborn no internet age,” you can have three apps. Just three.

  • Waze – (GPS and Navigation)
  • Skype (Telecommunications and Long Distance)
  • LinkedIn – To network – PROFESSIONALLY, seriously enough with the stupid memes already.

Would it really be such a horrible place to live in? My friend told me, as a species, we are not mature enough for all this technology. In every generation, there are a host of problems, but for all the things the internet has fixed, what has it taken from us? Do we smile at strangers while we are waiting in line? No, we are ass deep in our phones not even looking up when our order is called at Starbucks. Do we ask people out on a date or for their phone number if we see them and we think them attractive? No, because someone, somewhere will protest the shit out of your gesture. Do we even remember what an arcade is??? I give it to Dave and Buster’s, they are keeping the dream alive.

We are so stuck, so stuck in a digital world, that we have entirely forgotten what it’s like to be human. This is funny because people make fun of the Fast and Furious franchise, but not only was the latest installment, “Hobbes and Shaw,” entertaining as all get out, one of the underlying themes of that movie was family and heart. We have lost our soul and spirit and replaced it with an Avatar kicking ass in XBOX LIVE. We have eliminated game night and now chat on Discord servers as if that is healthy.

So I am doing it. After I post this, I am going to pose the challenge to my very few social media friends, some forums somewhere, and “go dark” till Monday. I will HAVE TO use the internet at least on Saturday to check my schoolwork, but I think I can get away with the app on my phone for that and THAT ONLY.

What am I going to do over the weekend? Pretend it was 1994 again. Plug in my stereo, tune into the local radio stations, break out my PS2 and play some Tombraider, watch some TV, (on cable, no streaming), and just hang out and read a book, or three. I may draw and color a bit, redecorate my room, and call up some friends, (on a landline), and see if they want to get together over the weekend.

So do you think you can do it?

I dare you!

Join me in a No-Internet Challenge This Weekend!!!

Stay tuned.

What Do You Do With Your Time??

On By inspiredodysseyIn Life, Uncategorized3 Comments

wasting time

Is it Netflix? Is it gaming? Is it wasting time online in a black hole of Youtube videos? Social media posting? Or just straight-up wasting time on God Knows What? In recent days, I have definitely felt a shortage in time, and I am yet to find out what it is that I am wasting all this time on. I have gotten in the habit of sitting up in bed with my laptop and watching something that I am not really paying attention to and getting lost online in a world of boring chatrooms, or endless forums. I wonder, should I be spending more time outside within the three-dimensional world, rather than wasting countless hours on devices? Have we, as a society, become so hooked on devices, electronics, and gadgets that we’ve forgotten about our fellow man?

There is no doubt in my mind that we have lost the ability to relate to people. If we are not behind a screen, we have no idea how to talk to someone. I don’t have this problem because I grew up in an era where everybody played outside and the only device we had in the house for entertainment was the radio and TV, which absolutely didn’t have a remote control and you had to physically get up and change the channel to one of the seven only channels that were available. A phone call from a boy came in on the only landline phone in the house and you were always excited to hear what they would say. The MOST fun though was when said boy asked you out and you went on a fun date at the arcade or pizza place.

However, those days are long over.

In recent years, I have become fascinated with the online dating culture because I love shameless entertainment, (I find Reality-TV to fake to deal with); I would rather hear real-life horror (or love) stories that capture the heart and imagination. I have spent many hours on WordPress in the past reading about all the online dating adventures of singles from all over the world. Did any of you meet your significant other online? I have to imagine the answer is “yes” to that question because more and more people are meeting their partners online than in the more traditional sense. I would love to elaborate on this but I am going to end up going on a rant on how the whole #MeToo movement has crippled male confidence exponentially to the point they are scared to walk up to a woman and ask her out, buy her a drink or ask for her phone number. People just don’t do that anymore, and it’s just sad. I have bought men drinks and talked to them when I was out and about in the past, and it was always an exhilarating experience. There is nothing like getting an acknowledging smile or handshake when you compliment a person and let them know you would like to talk to them. I try and do that now and all I get are weird looks – go figure.

But yes, time, that’s what we are discussing. I find the fact that we are now in solitary relationships with our phones, entertainment devices, games, and TV, that we are no longer communicating with the outside world. If we are interacting, we are behind a screen sending ridiculous eggplant emojis to let the other person know we think they’re sexy. How awful is that? Let’s not even get into the countless exchange of genital pics, (it has become apparent that “dick pics” aren’t the only scandalous things being shared these days).  I find it so sad that we are just wasting all this time and energy on things that don’t really give us anything back but a shot of dopamine and for every dopamine hit we get, we keep obsessing and going back for more like dopamine drug addicts.

Recently, I learned about an interesting hormone in our brain called oxytocin, which is more commonly known as the cuddle hormone. Every time we feel compassion or caring for another human being, like being affectionate or hugging someone, this oxytocin hormone is released in our blood and can actually help reduce stress in our daily lives. So for all the stress we are giving ourselves when one of our devices doesn’t work, or pulling our hair out because we didn’t receive a text, the best thing for our health would be to visit a real-life friend and spend quality time with them. This is vital to our lifespan and our growth as human beings and the more time we spent apart and locked in a trance of our electronic gadgets, the less human we are, and the more likely we could die earlier than we think.

So instead of laying in bed with your phone, or binging something on Netflix, go outside to a park or even just a Starbucks and sit there – just be around other humans at least for a little while; you never know, you make a friend or even get a date! Okay, that last part seems a little farfetched, but the whole point is you never know, and honestly, you have nothing to lose and a ton to gain.

Stay tuned.

When You Break Someone’s Heart, Karma Will Definitely Find You

On By inspiredodysseyIn love, UncategorizedLeave a comment

ring

Did you ever break someone’s heart and pay for it later on in life? It may not be on purpose, or filled with malice, but Karma makes you pay anyway? I find it serendipitous, (my favorite word), that my ex-fiancé found me on Facebook and we reconnected just last night. Speaking to him offered a lot of introspection and reminiscing, which allowed contemplating my life as it is today, compared to where I have been.

We were young, Felix and I, just 18 and 19 years old – both not having finished high school. He was from the South Bronx, I was from Brooklyn, and let’s just say, we were both survivors because of the roughness of our neighborhoods. The years we shared were such happy ones, and on Valentine’s Day of 1999, he presented me with a beautiful heart-shaped engagement ring, that I still have even after 20 years, (shown above).

She has taken her damage, that ring, and spookily enough she is missing just one diamond, which I think represents the hole that Felix left in my heart when we parted ways. Oddly enough, I was the one who did the leaving, because due to pressures of having money and being a young man, Felix entered a life of crime and went to prison. I, in turn, moved on to much better things and a new relationship by the time he got released.

Which brings me to the serendipitous part. I happen to be somewhat of a superstitious person as well as being very devout. I believe, in my heart, that anything you put out into the Universe, your Karmic Aura, will impact the course of your life. However, I am a huge believer in Free Will, so whatever we do and whatever action we take impacts our destiny. This is the principle that I live by, and I will never follow the path of Tarot Cards and Psychic Readings, but what Felix told me yesterday shocked me to my core.

He told me of a Valentine’s Day sometime around 2002. He was out of prison for a while and I had been avoiding his phone calls for weeks. He decided to surprise me at my job with a bouquet of roses and waited by the side entrance of the building on that faithful day. What happened next was heartbreaking – there he stood with flowers and with a heavy heart he watched me come out of the side door with my current boyfriend at the time, extra happy, all smiles and holding hands. Felix told me that he just watched as I walked off and just dropped the flowers and cried. He said it was one of the most powerful emotional experiences of his life.

Needless to say, I cried myself to sleep last night. What Felix didn’t know was, the guy that he saw me with, destroyed the person that I was. Three years later, I tried to commit suicide over that relationship fallout and what followed was many, many years of darkness. It was a pivotal moment in my life and a heartbreak that I never recovered from.

I prayed last night, and told Felix that I was so very sorry for his heartbreak and so very sorry that I gave up on us because that’s exactly what I did. I was riding such a high back then, thinking that Felix was beneath me because he messed up; I was on some sort of ego trip because I landed a new corporate job and had a new cute boyfriend.

Through it all though, I realized that I absolutely paid for the pain I caused Felix, tenfold. Even now, after all this time, my heart still aches from the memories from those days. What I learned now though, and what I am going to bring to this blog, is all the strength and wisdom I’ve gained and the realization that those events are the reason for all my success today.

Life has shown me that perseverance and dedication are how you take hold of your destiny and that consequences are absolutely real. The Universe will always be fluid, with time, space and actions being constant.

Would I go back in time and work things out with Felix? Probably not. But I do know that I would go back and handle it better. I would at least give him the closure he needed instead of avoiding him to the point of that encounter, and his ultimate heartbreak. We had been through so much up to that point and hearing his words last night affected me a lot more than I expected.

Now though, we both have a second chance at a real friendship. He is married with kids, and I am happy in my almost 10-year relationship. I want nothing but the best for him and I know he wants the same for me.

So here I am today, on this new journey with you and I couldn’t be happier. We will laugh, cry and grow together and I am so glad to be here doing what I love.

And remember wherever you are and whatever you are struggling with, it is YOU who is in control, and YOU always have the power to change and make your life the best it can be no matter what you could have done in your past.

All you ultimately have to do is just:

“Make it so”.

~Captain Jean-Luc Picard

Stay Tuned.