So many things, and so many blogs later, I finally have a day I want to remember. Looking back on all those years of pain, I have come to a precipice where I can finally say I feel on top of the world. I just had the best sex of my life tonight, and maybe it’s the overwhelming dopamine that has me so high, but it’s also the placement of all the chess pieces that are finally in place.

Things aren’t easy. Some days are tougher than others and living with my husband after being alone for so long is definitely an adjustment. But nights like this I want to remember and look back on as the reason why we both put so much effort into our marriage after all we’ve been through.

I look into his eyes, and I see the overwhelming love for me.

His kiss still gives me chills even after all this time.

I have walked through Hell and back with him – Jails, Institutions and Death as they say in recovery, and he has been at the center of my mind the whole time.

I have experienced things with this man that I have never felt with anyone before in my life – I walked through madness with him by my side, and he accepted me with my flaws and all.

He allows me to be myself, no matter how critical I see my shortcomings and supports me in all my endeavors.

I never got to say my vows to him like I wanted to the first time around, so I will solve that here.

With you my love, I can accomplish anything.

You make me feel alive again, after so many years living in darkness.

I worship you as my King, because you deserve all the praise in the world.

I take your kisses with me in my sleep, because your tenderness and kindness fill my soul.

You amaze me every time we talk because I learn something new and more interesting all the time.

I promise to love you always, to be the woman you always wanted and the wife you always dreamed of.

I will honor, obey and give you my all – promising to never go to bed angry like your wise grandmother always said.

Most of all, I will always be kind because you deserve someone who will always be true to your heart.

And your heart I will guard, with the chambers of my own, so that when we die in each other’s arms it will be after the satisfaction of the amazing life we had together.

My one true love, my one and only soulmate.

I do.

Stay tuned.

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Published by inspiredodyssey

In a whole new world after leaving NYC in 2020. Left my husband, started over, 4 years sober and living on my own. Fell deeply in love again, only for it to turn complicated and heartbreaking. Trying to navigate my way through it all, while maintaining my friendships, honoring my newly found faith, and living life independently.

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