inspiredodyssey daily prompt, Featured

Time for Self-Care – A Requirement – Not a Choice

We choose to do things. Every day we make choices about whether or not we go to work, meet people, call people, go to that place, make that meal. But are there choices you find yourself regretting that you didn’t make that day? That USED to be self-care for me. I would run myself ragged taking care of everyone else, every single day, while neglecting the ONE important person in the whole world it matters to. Me. My body. My soul. Time for God. Time for peace. Time for rest. REST. The thing we neglect so easily, even though it is such an important part of self-care.

With the work I am doing with my therapist, I am learning about different faces of self-care. I uncovered a repressed memory from my childhood in which the girls in my class made up a horrible name for me and said awful things about this person. Because I wanted so badly to fit in, I actually joined in the ridicule. Until one day, one of the girls couldn’t take the guilt anymore. She pulled me aside and said, “The person they are calling fat, ugly and disgusting is YOU.”

I was humiliated. Destroyed. For a chubby 9-year-old just trying to fit in, I was absolutely crushed. I cried for months afterward. I never told my parents either, simply because I didn’t. What could they do? Call their parents? Make the girls hate me more?? So I swallowed it. Stuffed it away. Apparently, I stuffed it SO deep down that when the language resurfaced in adulthood, I was the one saying it. Fat. Ugly. Disgusting. I had taken that brutal knife and turned it toward myself. Funny thing, that transference, isn’t it?? When a man rejected me – fat, ugly, disgusting. When I gained five pounds of water weight – fat, ugly, disgusting. Over and over again.

Then stepped in Self-Care wearing a Supergirl cape (and NOT that drunk mess 2026 version, I’m talking about my Helen Slater from 1984). I started slowing down. I started really looking at the woman in the mirror I had been calling fat, ugly and disgusting.

My therapist gave me a practice. TWO TO FIVE MINUTES A DAY. Tops. THAT’S IT. Start one practice that you do EVERY DAY. No negotiation. It is NOT a choice. It is a requirement. This is the time I give myself every single morning for self-care. It may not fit inside some perfect little definition of what self-care is “supposed” to look like, but this is what I am STARTING with. And so far, I haven’t missed a day in eight days.

Last Saturday, that little non-negotiable practice took me somewhere I had somehow managed not to really see in the entire three years I have lived here: City Lake Park in my own town. I stopped. I walked. I looked at the water, the fountain, the trees. I was there. And what started as one little act of self-care somehow opened into an entire morning of peace.

That matters because I have had other routines I tried to keep. I had a night cream routine, a brush-my-teeth-with-the-new-fancy-electric-toothbrush routine, a make-sure-all-my-makeup-gets-wiped-off routine, a leave-in-conditioner-stays-on-my-scalp-giving-me-that-cool-freshness-every-night routine. GREAT routines. Did I stick to them? NOPE. Cream, toothbrush, special makeup remover, leave-in conditioner – all sitting on a shelf, abandoned.

This form of non-negotiable self-care is what my former health coach used to constantly drill into my head. Her mandate was ONE non-negotiable walk a day. It didn’t matter how long. It only mattered that you DID IT. I stuck to that really hard for a while, but apparently if there isn’t a drill sergeant screaming at me, I am not doing it.

I think most of us like to believe we have discipline, but honestly? We have selective discipline. Discipline not to have a drink? Sure. I am five years sober. Discipline to keep up with my nightly skincare routine? Not so much.

But I think I have made a real breakthrough with this daily practice because I finally stopped demanding some gigantic transformation from myself. It is a small step. I can’t go to the moon, so I better stop trying. But I can look up at the moon and say, Yes. I see you today. I can give myself two minutes. I can take the walk. I can stop long enough to notice the lake that has been sitting in my own town for three years waiting for me to see it.

And maybe that is what self-care is beginning to mean to me. Not some perfect routine I buy supplies for and abandon on a shelf. Not another giant plan I fail to follow. Just one small thing I refuse to negotiate away.

Because last Saturday, City Lake Park finally saw me.

And, maybe more importantly, I finally saw myself.

inspiredodyssey daily prompt, Featured, Professional Growth

The Right Environment = The Right Mindset

It is almost a no-brainer when people say, “You’ve got to have the right mindset to be successful.” But how exactly is that achieved? What do you do? Where do you start? Do you sit there with ChatGPT and have it create some elaborate 14-step plan for you?

You and I both know, through all the AI nonsense, you are absolutely NOT sticking to that plan.

I recently joined the Small Business Center at a local community college right behind my house. I went to a community college early in my career, and I absolutely loved it. Community colleges really are exactly what they advertise themselves to be: places for the community to learn and grow.

It was extremely serendipitous that I met the director of the Small Business Center while line dancing; yes, line dancing, lol, at the Continuing Education building every Tuesday night. She gave me her card, I came in and signed up, and suddenly I discovered this absolute gold mine of resources available to small businesses in the community, especially entrepreneurs.

So, what the heck does any of this have to do with having the right mindset?

Well, after being NYC-driven for so many years in my career, I am used to going to work. Getting dressed. Leaving the house. Sitting at a desk. Having somewhere I am supposed to be and something I am supposed to accomplish while I am there.

Working from home is an entirely different animal.

It requires an incredible amount of discipline because comfort can absolutely become a HUGE problem when you are trying to be productive. There’s the TV. There’s your ridiculously comfortable bed. There’s the couch calling your name. There’s the kitchen. There’s the random pile of stuff across the room that suddenly becomes incredibly important to organize the second you’re supposed to be doing actual work.

And there goes the productivity plan for the day.

What I’m starting to realize is that, for me, having the right mindset has a whole lot to do with having the right environment.

Mindset is influenced by what is around you.

It doesn’t always come from sitting at home and forcing yourself through sheer willpower to become disciplined overnight. Maybe that works for Wonder Woman and Superman. It does very little for the rest of us.

So I decided to stop fighting myself.

I have blocked out two hours a day, skipping Wednesdays because I actually want to get out and network in the community. Every other weekday morning, somewhere between 8 a.m. and noon, I find two hours to go to the Small Business Center with my laptop and work. Really work.

I bring my notebooks, pens, notepads, highlighters—the whole damn office supply aisle, basically. I even have their desktop computer at my disposal in an Executive Office designed specifically for small business owners.

And guess what?

It’s working.

I have already scheduled a meeting with my second client. I have more usability research hours blocked out. I am sitting down and actually getting things accomplished instead of spending half the morning thinking about everything I should be accomplishing.

I have been more productive than I have been in years.

And I have the miracle of community colleges to thank for part of that. I have the resources available to small businesses here in North Carolina to thank. But I also have to give myself some credit for finally having enough sense to recognize something very simple:

My home is not conducive to productive work.

I love my apartment. It is my sanctuary. It is where I relax, watch movies, write, eat, sleep, and live my life. But maybe that is precisely the problem. My brain knows that place as home.

The Small Business Center feels like work.

The moment I walk through the door with my laptop bag, sit down at a desk, pull out my notebook, and start setting everything up, something switches on in my brain.

Okay. We came here to get shit done.

And suddenly I do.

So, if you want the “right mindset” to be successful, maybe Step One isn’t changing your entire personality, buying another planner, making another vision board, or asking an AI to design the perfect life you’ll abandon by Thursday.

Maybe Step One is much simpler:

Change your environment.

Get the hell out of the house.

Get dressed. Pack your lunch. Grab your laptop. Go to the library, the community college, the Small Business Center, a quiet café, wherever you can sit down and actually feel like you came there to work.

Because sometimes half the battle isn’t convincing your brain to become productive.

Sometimes you just have to put your brain somewhere that productivity makes sense.

And for me?

Apparently, all it took was a laptop, a good ole peanut butter and jelly sandwich, an Executive Office,

and meeting the right woman at line dancing.

Lol.

Stay tuned.

inspiredodyssey Featured, Professional Growth

HOW TO MEET DEADLINES USING THE “COLUMBO” EMAIL LANGUAGE

 

There is a special kind of professional frustration that comes from watching something fall through the same crack again while you type, “Good morning! Just following up.” Sometimes that cheerful “Good morning” is doing the work of an entire anger-management program.

Early in my career, I was the Queen of the Angry Email. I loved a good zinger:

“This was supposed to get done last week.”

Accurate? Yes. Satisfying? Absolutely. Did it get the work done any faster? Usually not. Now I had an unfinished project and someone angry about my tone.

Then I found my unlikely professional role model: Lieutenant Columbo. Columbo never stormed into the room. He shuffled toward the door in that rumpled raincoat, turned around and said, “Just one more thing.” Then he came back again. And again. Always friendly. Always polite. Always right there until the killer finally confessed the whole plan, every sin ever committed and probably a few unpaid parking tickets.

That became my email strategy: “Just following up.” “One more item we need to address.” “Can we confirm the meeting date?” “What do you need from me to get this completed?”

I was born in a city where it was eat or be eaten, road rage was practically a personality trait, and the least helpful thing anyone could say to an aggravated New Yorker was, “Just have a little patience.” We will not discuss the words that usually followed. Patience was not exactly the language I grew up speaking. So, trust me, I have plenty of other words available. Learning to choose the friendly ones, especially when I am frustrated, has been growth.

Remember, Friendly does not mean passive. Professional does not mean silent. Ten polite follow-up emails will usually get you further than one furious message sent after you finally lose your patience.

The goal is not to win the email. The goal is to meet the deadline, finish the work and preserve the relationship.

These days, I am no longer the Queen of the Angry Email.

I am the Queen of “Just One More Thing.”

Somewhere, Columbo is smiling under that raincoat.

inspiredodyssey Featured, Professional Growth

NETWORKING NOTES: Show up as yourself.

I walked into a Wilson coffee shop for a professional networking event dressed like I had a meeting on Wall Street.

Most of the room was casual, although one of our hosts, was dressed sharply enough that I was not entirely alone. I had simply done what I tend to do: showed up all the way.

I am Brooklyn-born, direct, talkative and still a little rough around the edges. I am not naturally quiet; anyone who meets me figures that out quickly, but I care just as much about hearing people’s stories as I do about telling my own. I listen, ask questions and catch the little details that help me understand what someone really does and what they may need.

That morning, one conversation connected my 25+ years in HR and payroll, my experience evaluating HR technology, and the sales instinct I developed during years of New York hustle. I did not walk into that coffee shop expecting it. I walked out with an actual business idea that has already led to more connections, and a meeting over coffee tomorrow morning that has nothing to do with it but may lead to another opportunity down the road.

That is the real power of networking. It is not about proving that you are the most impressive person in the room. It is bringing what you know, staying curious about what others know, and recognizing the moment when two professional paths unexpectedly meet.

Opportunity cannot knock if it does not know your address. My favorite verse in the Bible that always stood out me is simply this: “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”-Matthew 7:7. I didn’t pay attention for a while, until the same teaching appeared years later in Luke 11:9. That’s a serious answer to a knock!

But honestly, sometimes you have to put on the suit, walk into the room and introduce yourself.

inspiredodyssey Featured

An Act of Kindness – Helping the “Unhireable” Get Hired

I have been volunteering at NC Works for a while now. Because of my incarceration, I know how hard it is to find a job when you get out. You have a record. You’re unhireable. The scary “have you been convicted of a felony” box is checked and you’re going to be questioned about it.

Being arrested and serving actual jail time was the hardest thing that I ever had to endure – then life decided to make me homeless afterwards. Surviving all of that and now thriving in my own place with everything I need comfortably, has been a HUGE blessing. I was a professional HR manager for over 20 years, and I know because of my record I can never work in my field again, so the least I can do is give back to those who are in need – and God willing, I hoping to obtain a career somehow, doing this kind of work that I love so much.

Knowing all that I know in Human Resources, and after conducting literally thousands of interviews in my life, I know what employers are looking for, and I know how to survive an interview. I know how to make someone hireable, confident, and help make an interview go seamlessly with the tools to get past that “criminal record.”

It’s most valuable thing I can give to those just coming out of jail and prison – just giving the knowledge of how to navigate finding a job, especially if they have been incarcerated a long time and have NO idea of how to do this. It is the greatest gift to me to have someone, (after taking my free class), tell me that they landed a job, or aced an interview, when they thought they would fail miserably.

It’s a job I do for free selflessly, and I love what I do.

Stay tuned.

Daily writing prompt
What job would you do for free?
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inspiredodyssey Featured

Never Stop Learning

Today’s most important lesson: Learning to Love oneself. I have a hard time with this one because of how much negativity surrounds my sense of self and being. Being sober now almost 4 years, I have learned to take great pride in myself and accomplishments. Acts of self-love are truly necessary – the manicures, pedicures, taking myself out on a date – these are all things that has helped me understand how truly special I am.

Falling in love with yourself is a gift, one I don’t take lightly or take for granted. It is important to do acts of love for yourself, even if it is in a small way on a daily basis. Having a clean apartment, or room, is an act of love that most people don’t even think about. An environment of cleanliness can boost one’s mood and invokes a sense of accomplishment which shows how much your love yourself. Cooking a healthy meal out of love for your body is also very important. Positive reinforcement, (having loving notes to yourself on the fridge), can make you feel good about yourself every time you see it. These are all learned behaviors that take time and practice to implement, but the repetitiveness of it can yield positive results.

Never forget that with all the negativity around us, it is up to us to make a positive bubble of our sense of self to keep us happy. Outside influences are fleeting because inner strength comes with a lot of self-reflection and work. I am guilty of not following these principles because I let people, places and things affect my inner joy – I need to be stronger in my self-conviction if I ever want to achieve true happiness.

Stay tuned.

Daily writing prompt
What is the last thing you learned?
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inspiredodyssey Featured

Sobriety – What I am Most Proud of in my Life

Out of all my accomplishments in my life – being sober is what I most proud of. It changed everything about the quality of my life, especially the impact it has had on my mental health. I have struggled with bipolar disorder for so many long years, and I never stopped to think that it had anything to do with all my drinking. But taking bipolar pills early in the morning, then waiting for them to wear off, drinking all afternoon, waiting to sober up, and then taking more bipolar pills to go to bed at night, is the ultimate definition of insanity. THIS IS NOT NORMAL AT ALL FOLKS. Doing that same routine for many years, is EXACTLY how I was in and out of all the mental institutions in New York for many, many years. This is how I destroyed myself; this is how I suffered and endured so much pain.

It’s only after coming to North Carolina, going to jail, then spending almost 2 years homeless and in the recovery community, did I realize it was the addiction that was the cause of all my problems, stress, heartaches, headaches, and overall poor quality of my life.

Being sober is the best thing I have ever done with my life. I am so grateful for surrendering when I did, giving my addiction over to God, and having Him take it from me. My life has changed so much, being almost 4 years sober, and I couldn’t have imagined a better life today compared to what it was 10 years ago. I have my family, my friends, a wonderful healthy relationship with an amazing boyfriend, a path to an amazing career, and an independence unlike any I have ever known; I love living by myself so, so much – this is absolutely the life I prayed for.

Stay tuned.

Daily writing prompt
What are you most proud of in your life?
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inspiredodyssey Featured

Keeping Busy offline- The Key to a Happy Well-Being

In the internet age, people have become too complacent staying home behind a computer screen. Isn’t it a tragedy that most people don’t like going outside anymore? During post-COVID, more and more people are working from home, so simple interactions with three-dimensional people have become a thing of the past.

In my life, I got forced to go outside and live my life. I spent over 15 years in a cycle of eat, sleep, internet, and rinse and repeat. I had absolutely no idea of what it was like to have actual friends and what it was like to live a busy fun-filled life. My health and well-being were so damaged, and I had no idea how to change it – and with all the hospitalizations over the years, I just felt completely defeated. So, when I got the opportunity to finally change all that when I met my husband, I went for it. Needless to say, it ended up incredibly toxic and even more damaging, but it still led me to an adventure of a lifetime. #NOREGRETS.

These days, I have an incredibly full life. Even though I don’t live in the main city anymore, I still travel there a couple of days a week to catch up with all the events and the people that I know. During the week, I keep myself incredibly occupied as well. I admit that I find myself on the internet trolling chatrooms sometimes, but some habits do die hard, lol. But it is more a passing through attitude now, where it used to be an all day, everyday thing. But in my honest opinion, being offline for almost 3 years was the best thing to ever happen to me, and to maintain a healthy well-being is to stay offline as much as possible during the day. Reading a book, working out, go to an AA meeting, going to church, (even when it’s empty and just me finding peace), going to lunch with friends, walking around a bookstore or thrift shop, going to the library -these are all things that promotes a healthy well-being. Just being out in the world where you are out with people is the best medicine. I find it so sad when someone tells me they hate people – fellowship is the best part about being alive. We need people to elevate and promote our own healthy mental health. Maybe that’s just my opinion, I don’t know.

So, if you want good health and a balanced well-being, dump the computer, put down the phone, and GO OUTSIDE!!

Cheers to a good life! (with a non-alcoholic drink, well for me, anyway lol)

Stay tuned.

Daily writing prompt
What strategies do you use to maintain your health and well-being?
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inspiredodyssey Featured

I Value Security now, Rather than Adventure

Some would say hightailing it out of NYC to North Carolina on a whim, riding high and fast on pills, alcohol and cocaine an adventure – because when I turned 40 years old, something happened to my brain, quite literally. Suffice to say, it landed me in jail and then a homeless shelter/rehab for another 15 months and then getting placed in sober living for another long nine months before finally getting a place of my own. Since then, peace, and security, security being all I crave and am now seeking now in my life.

I would love more adventures with my new boyfriend, sure. But sober, boring adventures, lol. I would love to see places – go visit Roswell, see the sights of Los Angeles that I never have, show him NYC from the point of view from a true New Yorker, and just many, many more. But the only adventure I have known so far have been total self-destructive ones – my life in NYC was full of it. Full of mental institutions, one-night stands and all-around bad behavior. Sure, there were times in my teens and 20s when I ruled the club scene, when I danced and drank all night long, and experienced a night life that many wouldn’t in their lifetime, BUT it came at a big price – severe alcoholism and bipolar disorder.

So, you can say that I am seeking pure clean fun and security now. Just a nice boring life, lol. Sure, I can have fun sober, and since my boyfriend doesn’t drink or smoke, we could have nothing but late-night talks and plenty of sex while traveling the world. I suppose you could call that an adventure in itself, but to me that seems pretty tame than what I have been used to. I guess when you get to a certain age, (and you’re still on probation, lol), some things do seem more important than others.

Cheers to the future!

Stay tuned.

Daily writing prompt
Are you seeking security or adventure?
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inspiredodyssey Featured

So Many Risks, So Little Time

There are so many risks I don’t regret, it’s hard to just narrow it down to one. Life is risk, walking out your door is risk, but taking chances with your life is one you shouldn’t take – but one that I have many times over. Being in the mental health system for so long, and also using drugs with my husband, I found myself in various situations where I could have died – either shot dead by a drug dealer, overdosing by the wrong drug, or just crashing into another car because of all the reckless driving I did while high – all of those are risks I don’t regret because it reminds me of where I never want to be again, and it also, (if I am being morbidly honest), let me experience life in a way in which I actually got to “live on the edge.”

But for argument’s sake, the one risk I will NEVER regret, is the one I took when I left New York. I had just gotten furloughed from my job during COVID, and me and my husband decided on just a crazy whim to leave all our furniture on the street and pack up whatever we could fit in my car and head to North Carolina. Being separated from him now, I honestly romanticize that part the most because we embarked on a wild adventure together that would land us both in jail for a year, then him in a pysch hospital for another whole year, and me in a homeless shelter/rehab for 15 more months. We took a lot of risks in those years, just going back in forth in the justice system, boosting stuff from stores to feed our habit, and just living a Bonnie and Clyde fantasy existence. I want to say I regret all of that too, but again, it was an experience like no other that was the epitome of adventure compared to my previous long, boring existence.

That move to North Carolina was something I could have never done on my own – I needed someone, the catalyst, the inspiration that a writer would need to make that leap into a book, that muse that artists crave so bad, that push that only God can give sometimes. I always believed my husband was my greatest downfall, but he was my rescuer as well. I would have forever lived my life in a room in a corner of my parent’s house like I did for so many years, with no hope of ever moving out on my own or getting my own life. Have you ever been stuck in a rut that lasted years? That’s where I was before this move.

“Even though we are not together anymore, thank you Giovanni for giving me that gift of gumption, so I was able to go on that adventure with you – even though we are in separate places now, living different lives, (you chose a life still following drugs), I know now that the season you were here with me was to bring me to the place I needed to be.”

Today, I live on my own independently, three years happily sober, with my wonderful little place, nice car and decent job. I may be single again, but my ex will always hold a place in my heart as the man who I took the biggest risks of my life with – the most beneficial one being the move from New York to North Carolina.

Without risk, there is no reward, and I am living that reward today.

Stay tuned.

Daily writing prompt
Describe a risk you took that you do not regret.
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