inspiredodyssey daily prompt

Making Lazy Days Feel Like Progress

I’m not 100% on board with lazy days being either just restful, or unproductive, but more like how they are needed for our mental health, and peace of mind.

“Rest is not idle. Rest is repair.”

Because some days, my soul simply says, “Not today.”
Not to the inbox. Not to the chores. Not to the relentless demand to be useful.

And yet, the guilt creeps in anyway—My inner drill sergeant barks, “I should be doing something”.

But what if lazy days are not wasted at all?
What if “lazy” days are the most productive ones of all—just not in the ways we’ve been taught to measure?

🌙 The Quiet Work Beneath My Stillness

From the outside, my lazy days look like nothing special — me in pajamas till noon, coffee cooling on the nightstand, a book half-read and abandoned for a nap.

But underneath all that stillness, something deeper is happening. My body is recovering. My mind is unknotting itself. My spirit is remembering how to breathe again.

I’ve realized rest is the soil where creativity grows. Even when I look idle, my brain is sorting through memories, healing emotional clutter, and weaving invisible connections.

That’s not laziness.
That’s recalibration.

✨ Learning “Soft Productivity”

Instead of measuring my days by output, I’m learning to measure them by nourishment.

Now I ask myself:

  • Did I let my mind breathe today?
  • Did I feel sunlight on my face?
  • Did I make space for peace?

That’s what I call soft productivity.
It’s when I tidy one drawer instead of cleaning the whole house, or write one honest paragraph instead of forcing a full essay. It’s when I let myself sit in silence without the need to “achieve” something.

I’m still growing — even when I’m still.

☕ Turning Rest Into Ritual

I’ve started treating my rest like a ritual.

  • I make my coffee slowly, like a ceremony.
  • I play music that matches the mood of my morning, no news in the background anymore.
  • I take walks without a destination — just to feel the air on my skin.
  • And I call it recovery, not wasting time.

Because sometimes productivity isn’t about building.
Sometimes it’s about rebuilding.

🌤️ My New Kind of Progress

The world glorifies hustle because it’s afraid of stillness.
But I’ve lived enough burnout to know: I can’t bloom without rest.

So I’m letting my lazy days be sacred again.
They aren’t interruptions to my purpose — they’re part of it.

When I’m stretched out on the couch, halfway between guilt and grace, I remind myself:

I’m not falling behind.
I’m just catching up to myself.

Daily writing prompt
Do lazy days make you feel rested or unproductive?
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inspiredodyssey daily prompt

Serendipitous – My Favorite Word

I think it’s been my favorite word since I saw “Serendipity” (2001) with John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale. It simply means “happy chance, but can be interpreted as a form of fate or destiny”, something I have always believed in since I was a little girl. Many can argue that we make our own fate – as Sarah Conner showed us in Terminator 2: Judgement Day, but do we really? Are we really in control of our own destinies? What part does God play in all of that? When people say it’s in “God’s Time” or trust God’s plan, is that intertwined with fate as well?

Such big questions. I think serendipitous describes a lot of what transpired in my life between 2019 and now. I met my ex-husband in a psych ward, and the ride we went on through madness, drugs, chaos, incarceration and homelessness, taught me that no matter how much we try and force the hand of fate and bend it to our will, our actions and the deeds we do, directly result in what ultimately happens to us. It is said that angels are jealous of us because we have “free will”, God’s greatest gift to us. But is our will really free? Are the things that happen to us due to our many choices just all random, and not our destiny?

I think about that in terms of Mr. California. I write and think about him a lot these days, mainly because of how much in love with him I am. Was it serendipitous that we met? Did the long nights of tears over my ex-husband, pain and anguish I felt finally break because fate intervened? What made Mr. California message me that one January night? Why did I answer? I will never forget his first message to me – just something simple like “I am sorry you’re hurting, I hope you are able to sleep.” I don’t even know why I answered. but I did, and the heartbreak and grief that I had been feeling for months was lifted into the dramatic love affair that I was suddenly swept up in.

The problem with all of this is, I never got a chance to be single. I never knew what it was like to be completely on my own, feel all the feelings of solitude, loneliness, and singledom. I never got to really enjoy my apartment and all the freedoms that come with it. But, again, in a serendipitous twist that felt like fate, I was hospitalized so traumatically that it broke whatever relationship me and Mr. California had, bringing us to where we are now. These days, I am on my own a lot – there aren’t any more texts, and calls during the day – it is just me out in the world, rediscovering who I am, remembering how much I wanted to be free for so many years, practicing my faith in all ways that I can, and learning to love who I am – all without chasing after a man. I still enjoy my nightly calls with him, and there is lots of fun, laughs and sex, but not on the terms they were on before. This time it’s different, more shaky, more woven in the ways of rebuilding a foundation of what once was.

This is serendipitous new ground. The kind that God wants me to see. And yes, I have my free will – I always did, but the thread of my life that hangs in the balance is no longer dependent on the love of a man, but the love that I have for myself.

Daily writing prompt
What’s your favorite word?
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inspiredodyssey daily prompt

If I didn’t Know Failure, I Wouldn’t Know Success

Of all the steps back, I have taken in my life, none of them would have prepared me for what was ahead in life. I have faced jails, institutions, and certain death through addiction and mental illness, that I never thought I would be where I am at today. Failure is the catalyst that drives us forward; it’s almost religious in a way – the way I’ve seen God is to be shown the Devil. If I hadn’t fallen down as hard as I did, I would have not been able to find my way forward.

In November of last year, I suffered a really bad manic episode. It was totally my fault; I had stopped taking a crucial medication at the advice of my doctor because I was feeling better. This led to three trips to the hospital, back-to-back, where I ended up losing my boyfriend, my job, and my self respect. I was mourning the loss of these things for months, when I realized that it was God who was testing me, it was needed to push me to propel me forward. I am still mourning my relationship – I miss my boyfriend terribly, but God has allowed us to stay in communication helping me build what was broken. I managed to keep my apartment, and my car is still working beautifully, and even though my savings became depleted, I have been able to slowly build back what was lost.

I had another setback with that manic episode where I had called my ex-mother-in-law and told her some not so nice things. She turned around and threatened to have me investigated for the time I was a payee for her son. I loved her son so much, and I kept his money safe and did whatever he asked me to do with it, but it still scared me because no one has gone after me that way before – again another failure in a relationship that I am mourning, but the success is I won’t let her put fear in my heart. Her son destroyed my life – putting the crack pipe in my mouth, stealing my car, and getting us both in jail – I did so much for him and gave my all to him, it’s almost a slap in the face to be honest.

But through all these mishaps and failures, I have found success. I am almost 4 years sober; I am still living the best life I could possibly live, and I have friends and family in my life I never had. Nothing could have prepared me for the setbacks in life, but that’s what life is isn’t it? Life is a series of ups and downs and unexpected events that can derail even the most secured plan – and even though I was flying high in November and on top of the world, something, some force, deemed to knock me off that high pedestal with a lesson in mind. The adventure now, is finding out what that lesson is and learning from it.

Stay Tuned.

Daily writing prompt
How has a failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success?
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inspiredodyssey Life

Letting Go and Living the Life I Prayed For

I’ve done a lot of the “daily prompts” lately, so I thought I would change it up a bit. Being a recovered bipolar and now sober three and a half years, looking back on my life and where I am going now has been a beautiful thing. My boyfriend is absolutely amazing and is a man that I have always dreamed about being with. Not only is he heartbreakingly handsome, but he is one of the kindest, caring, smartest, calmest, and most responsible men I have ever met. There is a big issue with his daughter though; she suffers with severe mental illness and is the main reason why we can’t physically be together right now. However, I am taking the time to let the relationship progress, and despite a recent breakup, I’m hanging on tight. He is worth loving, and I am worth the happiness I have always wanted, so a little time and patience is all that is really needed.

I haven’t heard from my ex’s mom in a few weeks – the last time we spoke, she told me he had been sent back to a mental hospital for a fourth time in two months after several nights of using drugs in the street and going back and forth to the terrible neighborhood that he’s always known. It hasn’t been going well for him, he has gotten beat up pretty badly several times, and even lost the suit he was going to wear to our wedding – that broke my heart completely because I still have my wedding dress. I love him so much still – I have been thinking about him a lot lately, and as I am growing closer to God and my church, I am wondering if spiritually the Universe is trying to tell me something. I have been hearing “Green Eyes” by Coldplay a lot lately on my Pandora rotation, and not only does that song upset my boyfriend, but it would also upset him more to know that I cry and think about my ex every time it comes on. He sang that song to me when we were together, and he told me he used to sing that song to himself all the time in jail when he thought of me – during that time we were both incarcerated in the same detention center, and I was still holding on to a hope of a future with him, despite all the bad shit that had happened.

Since coming off of probation, and my ex receiving the last letter I sent, I think it’s time to let him go. I want him to find peace, and as I think about what I really feel, feelings of dread erupt in me, because I do not wish him death – but honestly, that’s his only way out right now. He runs to the streets every chance he gets; he is getting beat up so badly out there now and losing so much weight, he has become a ghost of the man I fell in love with all those years ago. He is going to get killed out there, and I often wonder if he does, indeed, have a death wish. I can only imagine what he’s feeling – last night I found myself in tears thinking of the nights that he laid next to me holding me tight and begging me never to leave him. I promised I never would, and as tears come in my eyes now, I feel like such a piece of crap for breaking that promise amidst all his suffering now. I wanted nothing more than to always take care of him, and as I battle the never-ending struggle with my weight, I realize that none of that ever mattered when I was with him – and that full acceptance of all that I am, came directly from his love for me. Now I know, you are all thinking, “you don’t need a man to justify who you are or your beauty,” but dammit it helps, and even though my boyfriend now loves me with everything in him, he hasn’t been with my physically every day like my ex was, so that fear of rejection is still ever present.

So today, as I live the life I have always prayed for, despite this whole weight issue, I think back on my ex and our life and how much I really needed him as much as he needed me. I would have never left New York, never left my parent’s house, and never gotten a life of my own and the independence I had always dreamed about. Today I have real-life friends who I actually spend time with, I am around REAL people, and I am off the internet and out in the real world as much as possible. I also have such a full life and the relationship with my parents and family that I have always wanted. Today, I get to show up and be relied upon, I am sober and proud, and on so little medication, I don’t even consider myself bipolar anymore, just recovered. From the years of the endless revolving door of the mental hospitals, the years of the drinking and drugging, the years of self-abuse, self-neglect, and self-destruction, I have finally come through to the other side, and tomorrow never looked brighter and fuller of opportunity. So, I think it’s time I put Giovanni away for good. I love him, but I have to move forward.

Stay tuned.

inspiredodyssey daily prompt

In the Eye of the Storm

How would my blog change the world? With one epiphany and one nugget of truth at a time. Today’s epiphany is awareness – mostly awareness of how powerless we all really are in the face of mother nature and the world. I know for a fact that I am powerless over alcohol, (thank you Step 1 of AA), but as the winds whip on my window and the rain pounds down in all of Debby’s rage – I realize the more control I let go of, the more at peace I will be.

I am very scared right now, and I was for most of the night last night. I am all alone here in my house, with no real defense against an attack of this magnitude, one of which I can’t control but I just have to ride it out. I have faced so many catastrophes in my life, and I have always persevered, one of which was Hurricane Sandy when I lived in New York. I have to say, nothing is mightier than the Hand of God to remind you just how small you really are.

The nugget in this blog that will change the world today? A message of hope – just hope. This world seems so bereft of that idea, or that it even exists. When I knocked on God’s door for an answer, (Matthew 7:7 and Luke 11:9), he didn’t answer, for a very long time. I knocked and I knocked for close to 15 years and was met with what I thought was silence. Back and forth in the mental institutions did I find myself, drowning in a bottle of booze, unable to even hold a job, say nothing of even dreaming of the independence I have today, or a future for myself. How did I overcome that? A major shift, a major change, God answering the door and allowing me to walk out of the darkness. But it came with a price. I did fall in love, the one thing I had been waiting for, for so long and so many years, scouring the online dating world with no luck whatsoever. My husband had finally come and swept me off of my feet, leading me on an adventure of sex, drugs, incarceration and humiliation, that would change my life forever – it ultimately led me to the salvation that I am experiencing today.

Salvation, hope, surrender, redemption and ultimately forgiveness – those are the messages that will change the world, the messages that I am trying to convey. As I have been typing this, my phone went from screaming extreme tornado warnings, and dangerous rain and wind, to a calm like none I have felt since this storm first landed. I know that’s when tornadoes usually strike, but I can face it now, alone and strong, more than I ever could during the winds of Hurricane Sandy when I was drunk and broken so many years ago.

As the storms of my life have raged, so have the storms of nature, and I cannot tell you what it’s like to finally know peace after so much turmoil, perpetual heartbreak, and disappointment. The only thing that turned it around was one simple thing, one simple act, one simple belief: Faith. Not only in God but more in myself. Interesting that the lights just flickered as I typed that, and my heart just jumped a bit.

Checkmate.

The battle to win the storm may still be going, but at least I know the battle for my soul is won.

Stay tuned.

Daily writing prompt
What change, big or small, would you like your blog to make in the world?
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inspiredodyssey Life

Breaking Free

Has there ever been a defining moment in your life when you’ve felt relief beyond reproach? After two years of bondage, I am finally free. In two days, I will be moving out of the rehab/homeless shelter I have been living in for the past 13 months. Mind you, this is after 10 months of jail previously. It has been a harrowing two years to say the least.

I had never appreciated freedom before that. Being able to come and go as you please, spend your money how you want, even having relationships that weren’t “concerning” to others. I have been under a microscope for so long, I don’t even know what it’s going to be like to be on my own, but I welcome it.

My bipolar has been under control for the most part because I haven’t seen the inside of a hospital in a little over a year. I will be going back to speak at one the hospitals I was in, Triangle Springs in NC, tonight, to give back to those who need hope. Telling my story gives hope to so many others because after jail and rehab, I have a car, I am employable, mentally sound, and am looking forward to my own place. Well, an Oxford House with three other ladies, but at least it’s no homeless shelter with 80 other women.

I never realized that alcohol was my problem. I figured if I just took my meds I could keep my bipolar at bay, but mixing pills and drinks just made everything worse. I wonder how my life is going to be now. My husband is still in a psych ward awaiting his charges and I go to court in August to face mine. So much has happened since this nightmare unfolded and now I am finally moving on and breaking free.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

The chains are broken today.

Stay tuned.