Why I Still Struggle with My Outer Beauty

What does it feel like to look in the mirror in the morning and hate what you see? What does it feel like to think you’re the most disgusting person on the planet? This is me. No matter how much my husband tells me I’m beautiful I still suffer from low self-esteem that stems from within.

Where does this come from?

Why do we do this?

I think in recent years, it has become more acceptable for us to just hate yourselves. We aspire to reach these models of humans we see on tv and in videos, and not to mention all the crap that’s on social media. So, even though I have learned a lot of acceptance of myself over the years, I still struggle when I look in the mirror.

The fact is, I have never felt beautiful. Case in point, I tried to take a selfie today and was immediately disgusted with my picture that even the $179 I spent at Sephora couldn’t fix. And another case in point, lip gloss is now $40, what in the world is happening?

We live in a world where a billion-dollar rocket explodes, and everyone cheers. We live in a world calling yourself a “woman” can be offensive to someone. We live in a world where it is acceptable to beat yourself up for the sake of “appearances.”

I am frustrated with the world as well as myself.

I struggle with my outer beauty because everyone around me is more beautiful than me.

That’s the absolution that I have to accept.

Maybe one day I will feel differently,

God Willing.

Stay Tuned.