inspiredodyssey Featured

Complaining about Not Getting The “One Thing” We Think We’re Missing

Always missing the target. Is this what we all do, like ALL the time? We don’t make enough money, we don’t have a partner, we can’t see to get down to an ideal weight, just mountains of complaints. But I think the big one is complaining that we are not happy.

Happiness is not something that can be obtained. I learned this through a lot of trial and error. There will always be something that we want or strive for, and we keep missing the actual blessings that we have already received. Have you ever noticed that we’re always trying to obtain that One Thing we think we’re missing? What I mean is, I have found myself in a situation with mourning over my failed relationship when I have so many other riches some people would kill for. I am living comfortably, with an OK job that pays the bills, I have a nice reliable car, some extra passive income, and my very own place with absolute peace of mind. So why am I beating myself up so much about this failed relationship?

It’s because it’s what we do, that’s why. The Human Condition is so effed up sometimes. I am literally tormenting myself to the point where my mental health is suffering too. I am not sleeping AT ALL, causing me more worry and heartache than anything else. And for what? For love? You guys don’t really know my story, but I have been chasing men for the past 20 years, hoping to find love so badly that I ignore everything else, including all the red flags. God has saved me so many times, especially through all the jails and institutions, and honestly, I need to start appreciating the blessings.

People keep telling me to make gratitude lists, but that’s not really my thing. Affirmations are a little better for me. It kind of solidifies the things I have trouble putting on the gratitude lists. But the complaining and the whining happens anyway. Sometimes I feel like a 4-year-old in an older lady’s body. What I do to myself is nothing less than a tantrum. So, today’s lesson is less complaining more thankfulness. I don’t know how well I can stick to it, but just for today, I am going to try my hardest.

Stay tuned.

Bloganuary writing prompt
What do you complain about the most?
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inspiredodyssey daily prompt

Avoiding the Closet

Where is the one place in the house that you avoid? For me it is the never-ending clutter of the back closet. I have shoved so much crap in there – old clothes, pictures, scrapbooks, everything that I have been trying to shove in the back corner of my life. However, my back closet has spilled over into an entire room of junk. I have no idea why I keep all this stuff or why I haven’t taken the time to clean it out.

The departure of my husband hasn’t helped the situation. I have completely avoided that back room and back closet because the whole thing is too hard to face. It’s becoming difficult because my entire home is clean and tidy except that one back room where I have now concluded is where I hide all my fears and pain that I am trying to avoid.

One of these days I am definitely going to have to face it. In the upcoming months, I will be shipping my husband’s clothes back to him in New York and will have to try and at least tidy up back there as well as tidy up my feelings. I have also concluded that these things are intertwined, and a lot of my avoidant behavior comes from the fact that I don’t like confrontation or even facing my fears or tackling them head on. So, the clutter in my life, (as the daily writing prompt suggests), is both physical as well as mental and will take a lot of hard work to address because my complacency has completely set in. I honestly don’t feel like dealing with it, I feel like hiding from it where it is safe and warm. How do I get myself out of it? Your guess is as good as mine.

Stay tuned.

Bloganuary writing prompt
Where can you reduce clutter in your life?
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