Bipolar Disorder and Mental Health

Daily writing prompt
What’s something most people don’t understand?

So for the most part, it’s the “if I don’t have it, I don’t get it” mentality. Being bipolar for almost 20 years now, it has opened my eyes to a lot of things and a lot of stigmas there are out there about mental illness. I don’t want to claim ignorance, but I do want to say that for the most part we are “ignored.” For a long time in my life, my outbursts of anger, my alcoholism and my overall behavior was masked with, “it’ll be okay,” or “it’s just a phase,” and this advice was given to me by people who didn’t really understand what they were dealing with – not that I am criticizing, but you know people are only as knowledgeable as the information they are given.

There have been a lot of breakthroughs in the mental health field during the past 20 years, and one of them being awareness on the subject. People are a lot more knowledgeable as well as understanding. But the stigma still exists because there is a difference between just understanding and knowing what someone is actually going through. I love the phrase, “walk a mile in someone’s shoes before judging,” because unless you are going through a debilitating depression or a crippling manic episode you will never know or understand what that feels like.

I am glad though that my life has taken a turn where the idea of me being bipolar no longer equates me with being a leper. I can say that jobs are lined up even though I check off that “disability” box on a job application. So, even though most people still don’t understand mental health or bipolar disorder, I have learned that living with it and talking about it can enlighten someone’s thoughts on the subject.

Big Changes Ahead

How do you handle change? Is it nerve-racking and causes anxiety? Or are you genuinely excited? I am in the mix of both because I am moving. I have finally graduated from the rehab program I’m in and I am now in the process of transitioning out. March 4th will make a year I have been here, and I think it’s time that I go.

I am scared, nervous, and excited. I am venturing into a part of North Carolina that is rural where I am worried that my ethnic background could cause a stir. However, I feel that is all in my head because the members of my house have been very kind, welcoming, warm, and friendly.

I have been worried about the job front too. I don’t know if employers will overlook my arrest record, so I am hoping to wait till April 4th when I go to court and get my charges dropped to have those records expunged. I don’t think I will be able to find a decent job with how things are now, even though I did get lucky with that one employer in recovery who wanted to give me a chance, but ultimately didn’t.

So, here I go. 45 minutes away from where I’m at now, to the country. I am moving to a brand new house, so at least that’s a plus. Also, it is a Christian-based recovery home, so it will be the type of structure that I have been needing along my recovery and spiritual journey. Never would I have seen this as a possibility from the floor of that jail cell two years ago. I have come so far thanks to the Grace of God.

Wish me luck!

Stay tuned.