I don’t do enough of living my life to the fullest. Too much worry, stress, bills, relationship woes, drama, doom-scrolling — you name it.
But have you ever stopped to think: what if today was your last day on Earth?
That’s my #1 priority tomorrow.
I’ve spent far too long agonizing over Mr. California. He tries, he reaches out when he can. That’s that. Yesterday, my homeless friend reminded me of this. He said, “He may disappear, he may get quiet, but he always comes back. That’s just who he is.” My friend has so much wisdom, so much strength, and considering his situation, he’s surprisingly upbeat. He lives like every day might be his last — and there’s something holy in that.
Meanwhile, I’m a glutton for punishment. I let thoughts of Mr. California swirl around my brain like an addiction. Obsession. Codependency run amok. I need to stop. Starting tomorrow, I’m seeing this situation for what it is and living my life to the fullest.
When my ex-husband left, I was distraught. My world collapsed. It took everything in me just to change my phone number so he would finally leave me alone. When I found peace again, along came Mr. California. He showered me with love and affection like I’d never known. I fell so fast, so hard. Now things are different, and I’m holding on to the memory of that love — because I know that man is still in there, beneath all the guilt, burdens, and shame of his complicated life.
So where do I stand now? At the edge of something new. A precipice. Unfamiliar territory. A place where I finally have to deal with myself and rewrite my life’s language in terms of self-love, self-care, and living the way I’m meant to live.
I am excited about tomorrow.
No more drowning in sorrows.
If it were my last day, I wouldn’t want to spend it waiting for someone else to choose me. I’d want to live wide open.
And that’s where I’m going.
Stay tuned.
An Inspired Odyssey Through✨️Ink & Stardust✨️ 