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inspiredodyssey daily prompt

A “You’ve Got Mail” Moment in Time

My favorite moments in time are when me and my ex used to send each other messages without knowing what each other looked like. I LOVED that time – I was so open to it, and I loved what he used to say and what we used to talk about. I remember all the wants and needs, and how we were just two people grasping for each other for that one moment in time.

I did suggest that he see the movie, or at least the book “Shop Around the Corner.” We did see it together later on, and that was at a time when everything was so explosive. It was definitely my “hottest” online relationship because we both exploded into each other several times a day. We cammed, we phoned, we enveloped each other. He became my everything, I became his. We fell in love so deeply; he pursued me so relentlessly. I didn’t think it was possible to love so much or as much I loved my husband, but he came and blew all of that out of the window.

It’s been a year since those days, and I find myself reading his old messages to me, longing for that moment in time. I ache for him, my body pulses with thoughts of him. I love him so much, and it’s become my daily obsession, and I am starting to feel ashamed of myself because he no longer feels the same way. Don’t get me wrong, his boundaries of just emailing once or twice a day have now escalated to 4-5 hour long phone conversations, but it’s not the same as that all-encompassing passion that we once had. I crave him so much, I dream of him at night, and I know he holds himself back because of all the damage I caused our relationship.

I know it’s not possible, and people say you shouldn’t regret the past, but I wish with everything in me that I didn’t hurt him the way I did last year.

Every day I feel like I am still being punished for it.

Stay Tuned.

inspiredodyssey daily prompt

Leaving Behind a Legacy of Service

Today’s prompt was asking what Legacy I want to leave behind. The answer is simply the service I can give to others. Being in AA and now the Legion of Mary, I have come to feel the rewards of a new life that used to be crowded with selfishness. I was always selfish, so self-absorbed in my own life and worries, I never thought about others or the impact I could have on their lives. Now, I believe, when people think of me, I want them to remember someone who gave back to their community, as someone who helped those in need, and most of all helped those suffering in addiction.

People can argue the existence of God till their blue in the face, but nothing can take what the feeling is like to know that God, what I call my higher power, took away my addition to alcohol. It is nothing short of a miracle, especially as someone who was a chronic morning drinker; someone who’s first thought as soon as I woke up was to take a drink. It was all-consuming, all the time, and it ruined my life and all my relationships. Only in surrendering to God, or to me Jesus Himself, was where I learned redemption and what my true purpose was.

As I move forward in life, I am meeting a lot of people who struggle with that same strife that I was able to leave behind. I guide them through the 12 Steps, I give them rides to meetings, and I help them understand that there is a life beyond the dark corners of addiction. In addition to that, I am very devout in my church, serving the community by visiting elderly couples, nursing homes, and delivering the Eucharist to those not able to attend mass. It is the most rewarding experience of my life, and I hope that once I pass the probationary period of my Legion, I will be ordained as a Eucharistic minister, and I could deliver the Host myself.

This is the legacy I want to leave behind. One of service, one of love, and one of duty to my community. From the floor of a jail cell to homelessness on the streets, I have been delivered through the Grace of God to do this work out of gratitude of saving me, saving my soul, and saving my family.

Stay tuned.

inspiredodyssey daily prompt

Opening Myself up to Love Again, the Last Risk I Took

When my husband was battling severe addiction and mental health issues, I had to make a decision. I had to leave him, and I didn’t know how. My parents had to step in, which they did so bravely, by putting him on a bus back to New York to his mom. I didn’t have the strength to do it – my marriage was rocky and crazy for so long, and I had just been incarcerated and homeless due to all the circumstances. I never would have gotten out of that if it wasn’t for my mom and dad to which whom I am eternally grateful.

But the big risk came just a few months later. I had been suffering a lot when my husband left – despite the rockiness and all the self-destructiveness, I still loved him and still yearned for him. I was on a mental health forum that I had been on for close to a decade, and just poured my heart out on there, making posts about my lack of sleep and all the crying I had been doing. A man messaged me on there, a really kind man, who only wished me good sleep. I had no idea what he looked like, or what his name was, but he made me feel really good – like someone in the world gave me comfort in my most brokenness.

After months of talking, I still hadn’t seen what this mystery man looked like – it was the longest I had ever gone without asking for a picture, but I didn’t think that it mattered because we were just friendly forum friends. Then one day, I sent him a picture, and he sent one back, and boy was I floored. He was the most gorgeous man I had ever seen, nothing that I had expected, heck, I didn’t even know what I expected, but it certainly wasn’t that. I fell in love instantly; after months of talking to this man, I finally got to see him, and I just wanted all of him – I wanted to talk to him, hear his voice, see him on cam, and see him in person, all in one shot, lol. When we finally got to the phone calls, it was so intense and was some of the best phone sex I ever had in my life, totally unexpected again. We eventually began dating, I don’t even know if it was online dating, because it was hours of phone, cam, everything, just all the time. I fell in love hard; it was the last big risk I ever took, and one that I am glad I did to this day.

Eventually, the honeymoon phase ended, and real life stepped in when my bipolar disorder took front seat, and a crazy manic episode ended up scaring him pretty badly. He felt unequipped to take care of me from so far away. I understood, and after months in the hospital, I finally landed back on Earth in a horrible depressive episode. Apparently, it’s normal for doctors to treat a manic patient by shooting them up with so many heavy drugs that it completely debilitates them, and that’s what happened to me. I was completely unfunctional for two months after months of being in the hospital. Suffice to say, 2025 turned out to be a rocky start.

Today, me and this guy are on speaking terms again, but just emails so far. There have been a few frequent phone calls with lots of phone sex, and conversation, but he is trying really hard to focus on what he needs to right now. Apparently, my manic episode sparked in him the inability to function in his life, where he needs to make his own choices for him and his kids. It was always a complicated situation, now it being ever more so with him trying to go to school to better his life. I am really proud of him and his decision, and even though my heart flutters every time I get an email or phone call, I have been focusing on myself a lot lately too. My baptism is tomorrow tonight at my Catholic church, and this is a really big step, being Muslim and entering into this world. This guy is Catholic and had been a huge influence in me learning about Catholicism, and a lot of my faith is wrapped up in my love for him. He’s not the reason I wanted to join the church, my calling started years before that, but knowing him and learning about what he knows, helped this journey a lot.

So right now, even though it can be painful because hours can go by without an email, and lonely nights turn into phone sex with a man I am head over heels for, things are just this way for now. Some of my friends approve, some don’t, but ultimately, I don’t want to let go. It was the risk I took, when I needed someone, and we are trying our best to stay in each other’s lives. I had tried to move on earlier in the year and failed miserably.

So how did it work out? Still a work in progress, lol.

Stay Tuned.

Daily writing prompt
When is the last time you took a risk? How did it work out?
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inspiredodyssey daily prompt, Uncategorized

My Decision to Leave New York That Changed Me Forever

Leaving New York changed my life forever. It was my home for all my life, but a manic drug induced episode added with the self-destructive behavior of my husband, led me to North Carolina, which is the home I know and love now.

That decision led to my sobriety, and I have learned and grown so much since I left the concrete jungle back on Halloween of 2020. It was mostly due to COVID as to why I left – I was just furloughed from my job, and the job market in NYC was tanking due to the pandemic. It was time to go, and I knew it, plus, my husband had just picked up some larceny charges because he tried to steal a lawn mower in Home Depot, so we wanted to escape. Also, I wanted a new life away from all the drugs in NYC – I figured if I got my husband out of there, we would have a new life. Come to find out, it was worse than ever – you may be able to take the man away from the drugs, but you can’t take the drugs out of the man. He would always be an addict, like I would always be an alcoholic. Unfortunately, I would be the only one to address my addiction and do something about it, he decided to remain an addict, which ultimately led to me leaving him.

As a whole, the decision to leave NYC ended up being the best decision of my life. I have never known a better life here in North Carolina. I have so many friends, I was able to give a home for my boyfriend, (ex now, but I am trying to win him back), I have my independence, and I am living the life I have always wanted to live. It has been a long road to get here, but I don’t think I would have ever separated from my parents if I didn’t leave. I had lived so many years in a prison in their home, drinking into oblivion and ending up in a psych ward every year for almost 2 decades. I thought I would never break free and make a life for myself, and even though I had to go through jail and being homeless to do it, I feel it was all well worth it.

Cheers to living sober, and new beginnings.

Stay Tuned.

Daily writing prompt
Describe a decision you made in the past that helped you learn or grow.
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inspiredodyssey daily prompt

The 5 EveryDay Things That Bring Me Happiness

Making my bed, taking a shower, (a must!), going for a walk or just going out, buying something for just me, (it could be very small for $1), and reaching out to friends, (companionship) – these are my happiness things for everyday living.

Reaching out to friends is huge for me, because I can’t stay isolated. The more I stay isolated, the more the “stinkin’ thinkin'” starts in my head. I need to connect to someone, listen to their problems, or just vent to them about what I am going through. I am fortunate enough to have my best friend, who I talk to every single night at the same time – we watch movies, shows and just talk and catch up about each other’s day. I also have been blessed with another good friend who is studying to be a therapist, so he has the best advice at how to handle things.

Going out for a walk or at least going out every day is also really important. It has become even more important since I have been dealing with my heartbreak, so I am not home pining for him. However, I stayed home today, and even though I wasn’t completely miserable, I was still checking my phone every 5 minutes for an email that doesn’t seem to come. Me and my ex have gotten closer over the past week or so – we’ve had sex 4 times, and at first, I had felt used by it, but after the other night, I have to realize that there is a bigger picture at work here. My ex has a lot he needs to do and accomplish; he is desperately trying to make a life for himself, and I am giving him the opportunity to work on himself and do just that. I can’t help that I am madly in love with him though, and he can’t resist the comfort of being with me. All I know is I am NO position to bring another man into this situation – he will get his heart broken, because I am still totally hung up on my ex. That’s why getting out every day has been critical to me keeping my sanity and not obsessing – these four walls close in really tight when you’re dealing with heartache.

Making my bed and taking a shower are two very essential things that bring me happiness. I think making my bed every day is a huge accomplishment – it makes me feel like I am ready for the day, and productive. Taking a shower is also another one like that – people don’t realize how important it is to take care of yourself and feel refreshed. I know in my depression; I used to skip days, and I would feel even worse about myself.

The final thing is buying something for myself, (even if it costs $1). I think that’s very important. I used to treat myself to a meal every day, but that got pricey, but if I get something small, maybe like a candy, just something to make me feel good that wasn’t a complete necessity, I will feel really good for the rest of the day.

I need to do these things every day to bring myself happiness, because I know I will drown in depression if I don’t. This thing with my ex is so difficult. He gives in to me some days, and then I don’t hear from him on others. I know this is what we both have to do – my path is leading me to God – the work I have to do is deeply involved in my community and my church, and by my ex doing this and taking care of his own life, I am able to focus on the things I need to do in mine. There are so many obstacles in both of our paths right now, but the two nights of passion I spent with him over the past two weeks proves how much we both still love and need each other. I can’t help being so in love with him, and he can’t help that his life needs fixing.

If I have to sacrifice being in love, then at least I can make myself feel happy every day.

Stay Tuned.

Daily writing prompt
What are 5 everyday things that bring you happiness?
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inspiredodyssey daily prompt

One Positive Change – I Choose Not to Drink Today

Out of any of the accomplishments I have ever had, this is the one that has been the most impactful on my life. I can’t tell you enough what it is like to be free from alcohol. Drugs were never my thing, but I did do drugs with my ex-husband, and it completely took over his life and changed him completely. It ultimately led to me leaving him, and from what I hear now, he is locked away in a psych ward somewhere – permanently.

I choose not to drink – not an easy feat. A lot of people have trouble with this because drinking is just so social and easy to slip into. But then, after a few social occasions, drinking can bring you to a dark place – a place where you find yourself recoiling from others and drinking alone. Then starts the obsession, day trips to the liquor store just when they open and then spiraling down into alcoholism. This is the place I was for 15 years – add on bipolar disorder and a trip to psych ward the same time every year – I was a prisoner of this disease with no way out.

It took extreme circumstances to get me out. I went to jail, was homeless, went to rehab, and was in sober living for nearly three years of ongoing craziness, trying to find my place in the world. Through all of that, I was sober and took a hard look at myself. My amazing parents did move here from New York to help me, but they refused to take me in when I was homeless, and it was the best thing they ever did for me. It allowed God to step in and allow me to move to my small, quiet North Carolina town where I have found community with so many amazing people.

God took the urge from me completely – I was a morning drinker – emptying half a Snapple every morning and filling the other half with vodka to get on the train and go to work every single morning for years because I was just drowning in my misery and not taking care of myself. Today, I take good care of my body and health, take my medicine and give back to the world in every way I can – a far cry from the person I used to be.

Today, I am happy, joyous and free – (despite a little heartbreak), which is one of the promises of AA.

Stay Tuned.

Daily writing prompt
Describe one positive change you have made in your life.
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inspiredodyssey Featured

An Act of Kindness – Helping the “Unhireable” Get Hired

I have been volunteering at NC Works for a while now. Because of my incarceration, I know how hard it is to find a job when you get out. You have a record. You’re unhireable. The scary “have you been convicted of a felony” box is checked and you’re going to be questioned about it.

Being arrested and serving actual jail time was the hardest thing that I ever had to endure – then life decided to make me homeless afterwards. Surviving all of that and now thriving in my own place with everything I need comfortably, has been a HUGE blessing. I was a professional HR manager for over 20 years, and I know because of my record I can never work in my field again, so the least I can do is give back to those who are in need – and God willing, I hoping to obtain a career somehow, doing this kind of work that I love so much.

Knowing all that I know in Human Resources, and after conducting literally thousands of interviews in my life, I know what employers are looking for, and I know how to survive an interview. I know how to make someone hireable, confident, and help make an interview go seamlessly with the tools to get past that “criminal record.”

It’s most valuable thing I can give to those just coming out of jail and prison – just giving the knowledge of how to navigate finding a job, especially if they have been incarcerated a long time and have NO idea of how to do this. It is the greatest gift to me to have someone, (after taking my free class), tell me that they landed a job, or aced an interview, when they thought they would fail miserably.

It’s a job I do for free selflessly, and I love what I do.

Stay tuned.

Daily writing prompt
What job would you do for free?
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inspiredodyssey daily prompt

Positivity and Kindness – Unique in the World Today

Is it me or are people just getting angrier and angrier? Angry at prices, angry at the world, angry at the president, or just mad about everything? I am yet to see a positive news article or a news broadcast of hope. Gone are the days where the last 10 or 15 minutes of a news show were dedicated to some positive story in a neighborhood or city – now it all seems to enflame the anger that is consuming everyone.

These days, it seems it is unique to walk around with a smile. It is unique to promote positivity and actually get followers. I hate to have such a pessimistic attitude towards things, but when this week’s daily prompt asked about aspects of a unique person, all I can think of is how rare it is to see positive attitudes and kindness among people today. Is it the NYC girl in me that thinks so? It is no mystery that NYC is a tough city to live in – I know because it’s where I grew up and the loneliest I have ever felt in all my life. I think it was the lack of kindness I faced. People weren’t smiling a lot, and people weren’t really that friendly. It could have also been the sour mood I was always in, (I don’t want to blame NYC completely).

Moving to North Carolina has changed things. Now I see this “uniqueness” in everyone. Friendlier faces, happier attitudes, and just a different overall outlook on life. Growing in my church has also helped that. I don’t think it would have been the same welcoming of a Muslim into a Catholic church in NYC – I don’t know why I think so, but I do. Something is different about the land I live in now, even the air and water. Taking a large breath air outside is a lot different than it was in NYC – that same breath of fresh air can be said about the people here. It also might be that there is a lot less pressure on people here too – more resources, more community and honestly a lot less potholes, (I don’t know about you, but slamming into one of those bad boys can ruin an entire day).

I will say this though – positive attitudes and kindness are the easiest things to have if you have a different way of life. I know because that sour mood I was always in really changed when I moved here. Maybe there is some truth to “how you live, and act depends on where you are.”

Stay Tuned.

Daily writing prompt
Which aspects do you think makes a person unique?
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inspiredodyssey daily prompt

Loving this Spring

My favorite type of weather is Fall, but I am definitely loving this Spring. Warm days, cool nights with the windows open, definitely some good memories to be made. I have had a couple of wonderful days, (except with a feeling of guilt last night for committing sin), but I think my days of fearing punishment are long behind me.

I love it when it is around 70 degrees. I feel like it’s the perfect temperature, with the smell of rain in the air. It is a fresh smell, a welcoming smell. Fall is my favorite season, but after the events of last Fall I have to rethink that. Usually, it’s Spring, and around Easter that send me straight to the hospital, but last year took a different turn of events. I am also feeling less guilty about my ex-boyfriend. His emails are getting less and less, which is leading me to believe that he is starting to fade me out of his life. It is my worst fear, but I am not going to sit around and let it destroy my life. I am out doing things, especially things like going to the gym again, which I am really proud of myself for. The only thing left is to fix my eating habits, so I can actually lose weight, but either way I am really proud. I have also started going to my AA meetings again, which it is really important to me. I have had a couple of really good days, and as the days count down to Easter, I am hopeful for the future.

I think about my ex often, I still think there is a future for us. God led him to me, I know He did. I had never met a Catholic man before, and what I learned from him and the Church, it has propelled me in this direction toward my faith. It is an exciting time, where I will be converting from being raised Muslim, to a fully baptized Catholic. So much has gone into this = from jail and homelessness to a profound rebirth. I am grateful, and most of all I will hold onto the love I shared with my ex, and hope that one day he comes around. In the meantime, I will focus on myself, my faith, and my future.

Daily writing prompt
What is your favorite type of weather?
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inspiredodyssey daily prompt, Uncategorized

Getting Lost in an Adventure

Don’t you miss the days where hours and hours got lost in imagination? I try my best to recapture them by finding activities that I can lose myself in. Reading an actual book is one of them. I have a Kindle, but I don’t think it’s the same at all. There is nothing like curling up on your couch during a thunderstorm and getting lost in a world of fantasy and adventure, (lately for me, it’s been a sci-fi interstellar world).

Getting lost in hobbies is the best way to connect to a time past that we want to remember or relive. When I was younger, my imagination used to take me to far off lands and places I haven’t thought about in years. I think that’s one of the reasons why I collect action figures and dolls. I didn’t have a lot of toys growing up, and there are so many cool action figures from TV shows and movies from the 80s and 90s, I couldn’t help but become addicted.

One of the coolest and best things my ex-boyfriend did for me, (I am still trying to win him back), is get me a hard drive with all the cartoons and movies from my childhood. I get lost in movies so much with my imagination that it was the nicest and most thoughtful things anyone has ever gotten me. He didn’t leave anything out either, down to Galaxy Quest, every Star Trek and Disney’s Ducktales, Rescue Rangers, and many, many more. He was such a good man, and I am currently in the process of trying my best to ease his heart after my last crazy manic episode.

So, whatever it is that brings you joy that you can get lost in, whether it be a hike through a mountain path, a walk on the beach with your best friend, or an adventure you can get lost in at home, remember to treat yourself. We only have one life to live, might as make it as memorable and fantastic as possible.

Daily writing prompt
What activities do you lose yourself in?
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